you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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