Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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