i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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