You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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