Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hippo gnu deer
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He better not be in your backpack
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
