PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
