i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
