i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
