let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
