Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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