new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
