Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize