Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
