I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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