the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
