Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
