I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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