Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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