I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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