So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
