He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
