y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
