I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
