Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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