His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
