Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
