i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
