You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Alive.
So much puke
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
