mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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