One girl and one boy is just not enough.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
