So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
