Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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