i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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