as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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