just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
