I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
