I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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