Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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