If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
false alarm, still single
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
