my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found a bag of teeth...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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