what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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