Cold hands, warm shart.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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