he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
