when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Barsexuality is the new black.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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