She said her name was "party"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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