He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
