I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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