I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
