Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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