On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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