That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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