these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
zippers are such a cool invention
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
