Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
