you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
