Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
