i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize